If I could go back to every laugh..

Dear Taylor,
 I know youll never read this, and thats why I am writing it because I wanna say it but I just cant say it too you. I can specifically remember the moment I had this realization I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could. "Call me maybe" by Carly Rae Jepsen came on the radio and we sang and you whispered in my ear the lyrics that we joked about when we first started talking. I remember the smile you gave me when I watched you play soccer. There are so many frozen moment I could say but it would be too many. I am happy we had the times we did, and I was truly happy and crazy about you for those 3 months. I do wish I could take back how I felt but I cant, because thats what made everything turn sour. I miss you so much and I wish I could go back to how happy I was and how supportive you were when things got rough for me. I wish you would have given me the chance to be official and make things so much better but you just didnt - you shut me out and put my name on your list of traitors and for that I resent you a bit. That how could you let a girl feel so strongly if at the end of the day you were just going to break her. Your intentions were not to hurt me but sub-consiously there was no alternative and I am not mad I am hurt and dumbfounded that I could let myself be so open to someone who I didnt really know. But, I think of you everyday ,truly. If you ever do read this I hope you realize that the girl who would have loved you for the rest of you life, is done waiting for you to apologize, answer that text or call her. You are not regreted - but you have turned into another picture to burn.

"Many a times were my emotions overused and toyed. I nearly lost count, thanks to my fragile heart and preposterous tendency to be easily attached to people. More often than not, I lay all my cards on the table without taking into consideration the thinkable repercussions. The thing is, I forget everything else around me just to focus on someone. I do not long to be reciprocated but my subconscious wants something in exchange—however little it might be—just so I can have an assurance that I am holding onto something."